Avoir et être- Joyeux Anniversaire

Today, a special post. Not only is this post my 100th (woohoo), but today is also my 21st birthday. As with any passing of years, today has me thinking about what I've done with these last 21 years. I've always liked that in French, you don't say that you are 21, but that you have 21 years. I have years of experience and living that make me who I am. Therefore, in a résumé of sorts, I thought I'd use this 100th post to reflect on what I've seen so far, where I've been and what this last year has meant for me.

I have a ridiculously supportive and loving family that I miss every second of every day. I'm reminded often, when complimented or tested in some way, how they have helped me into becoming who I am now. Every time I see or speak to them I leave with a very bittersweet feeling. So incredibly happy to see their faces and hear their voices, but torn with my longing to see more (which requires me being very far from home), especially when it's them telling me I shouldn't come home yet, because what if there's more to see?

In my 21 years I've been to 8 countries (9 if we count the Vatican)- Mexico, Canada, France, Ireland, England, Sweden, Italy and India. I've now spent 8 months living and studying in France. I've reached a very nice level of fluency in a language that I never thought I could know like this. One that I was about to stop taking in high school. I've lived in Paris and saw the Eiffel Tower every day for three months. I even gave a speech at the Louvre, in French. I've stood before the masterpieces that have inspired me countless times and convinced me every time I see them that I'm studying the right thing.

I've made friends...but then they all left the country. So I went and made some more, this time in Grenoble. I spent an unforgettable Christmas with my best friend. We missed our families, but found home together up in that cold, dark Swedish winter. I've made connections in Europe with people that live an hour from me at home, but who I haven't seen in years. I've made deep connections that I truly hope are life-long. And the people I've met all during my last year often surprise me with their warmth, generosity and interest in sharing their culture and their ideas with me.

I have met professors who astound me in their knowledge, understanding, and compassion. Professors who have inspired personal and academic reflection and made me understand that my thoughts are important and deserve to be shared. Whether here with me day to day, or thousands of miles away communicating only through email, they have supported my thoughts, ideas, and thirst for knowledge while encouraging me endlessly.

I've overcome a lot of my personal qualms and shortcomings. I used to not like to be alone, was anxious with the thought of interacting with people and had never lived alone. And this last year I've done all of these, and not even in my own language. I feel like I've started to become a real person. This sounds odd, but I mean that I feel as though I've found a confidence being on my own so far from home that I had never imagined possible. A confidence that I've never known before and that leaves me feeling fully comfortable in my skin and ready to take on the world. I think it's facing cultures and customs  so different from my own that I begin to understand what I am actually passionate about and care to maintain in my own life.

I've used so many "I's" but it's my birthday so I can be selfish. But you, thank you all for following my life as I move from place to place and taking the time to read my thoughts. I just know that soon it will all be over and I'll be home, missing France with all my heart. I'm going to take advantage of this life I'm living here and the opportunities that are available to me while I still can. I think 21 is going to be a wonderful year.